I have been wondering. As a service submissive do you expect any form of thank you?
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Portland
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Unsu...
Re: question
Mon, January 7, 2008 - 6:27 PMthat really depends on the relationship more than just being a service submissive. A small thank you now and again or a treat for excellent service can be great in moderation for me, but not huge amounts. Excessive or effusive gratitude makes me feel wierd frankly. It's my duty, it's what I do and I do it to the best of my abilities. Tons of thanks/praise from my Owner or from their friends makes me feel like my best isn't the baseline of expectation.
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Re: question
Mon, January 7, 2008 - 7:55 PM(Maybe I just have a twisted streak, but... lol) I sometimes like a degree of humiliation play, which can come in the form of not acknowledging the service I provide or criticizing it.
But it is best and I believe most healthy when that kind of response is sandwiched between praise or rewards at the most and perhaps just a smile or a gentle hand on my head or a light brush of a kiss at the least. -
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Re: question
Mon, January 7, 2008 - 9:25 PMYes, i like the balance. And my thanks doesn't necessarily need to be verbal, a smile is really all i need. And i'm with Mercedes about the effusive thanks, that's just wierd. i'm supposed to be serving, it's not like i'm saving the world! -
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Re: question
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 6:42 AMi'll admit, i really enjoy praise and/or a thank you. i think the thank yous just come from how i was brought up. Heck, my kids always thank me for their meals and always have because that's how i taught them.
i'm better about not feeling like i need to always be acknowledged for what i do but it does make me want to please more and more.
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Re: question
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 12:48 PMI like invisible service - it makes me uncomfortable when other people, even people in the Leather community, notice my every move.
On the other hand, it is very important to me that the person I am serving notice what I am doing. I don't need profuse thanks, but I don't like feeling like THEY no longer see the service I provide because it has become so seemless or so long provided. That in itself can be difficult when you are in a long term service relationship.
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Re: question
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 7:24 PMI generally don't like praise. I just want to provide my service and know that it is appreciated, which to me is obvious if there is no criticizm of how I am performing a particular task.
I suppose if I were to do something completely outside the realm of my abilities, and without a mistake, I might expect whomever I was serving to recognize this. But this recognition is really situationally dependent.
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Re: question
Thu, January 10, 2008 - 12:17 PMIt's important to me that the service itself be appreciated--not necessarily that I'm thanked for doing it, but that I can tell whatever I've provided (a drink, a meal, a massage, my obedience, whatever) is actually being enjoyed by the person I'm serving, or has made their life easier for the period of time I'm serving them. That's my reward, that's why I do it: to bring people joy and pleasure and to use my skills to make their lives a little easier. Any praise or thanks on top of that is just gravy. It's appreciated, as long as it's not excessive, but it's not required.
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Unsu...
Re: question
Thu, January 10, 2008 - 2:22 PMi don't expect any thank you's. it makes me feel all warm inside to get a "little" thank you now and then, or a smile or a pat on the head. I would rather hear "good girl" than thank you. Thank you makes me feel as if i have performed a favor to the person instead of my duty. And as Mercedes said, too much gratitude makes me feel weird, even in the vanilla world, like receving an award, that makes me terribly uneasy.
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Re: question
Mon, January 14, 2008 - 10:02 PMi personally agree w/ lia, i too love to hear the words "good girl" from my Master.. But i would never expect a response of Thank you or good girl.
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Re: question
Tue, January 15, 2008 - 12:50 AMI never expect it but I adore it when it is given to me.
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Unsu...
Re: question
Tue, January 15, 2008 - 7:35 AMI don't *expect* anything when I'm doing some kind of service. For me, being of service whether it's in a BDSM context or a volunteer context or just trying to be helpful in my life in general, is just a part of me and an expression of who I am. What I do appreciate greatly is someone who recognizes that aspect of me, and appreciates it. For me, there is no greater reward in service than just to be recognized for who and what I am in that sense and allowed to do what it is I do naturally. It's deeply validating to me to be seen in that way. I hope that makes sense. I suspect it does to some of you. :) -
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Re: question
Tue, January 15, 2008 - 2:04 PMbethiebee-
you make perfect sense......it's a characteristic many subs/slaves cherish. At least i do. -
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Re: question
Tue, January 15, 2008 - 3:41 PMI really like it when they tell me I'm a good girl, or good girl.
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